chivalry is dead

yesterday was a long day. after a full workday in which my eyeballs felt like they were going to implode, i had to go to an event afterward.

after the long crawl of misery up the 405 i was 20 minutes late. i pulled into valet and there was a LINE OF CARS and NO VALET. actually i take that back, there was one lone guy, dusting a very non-dusty escalade, rubbing the same spot over and over and averting his eyes from the stream of angry drivers waiting to drop off their vehicle. like, is anyone going to park some cars here? finally someone comes along and takes my car off my hands and i RUSH inside, breathless.

aaaand one of the two elevators is broken. mflkjrijkltjgkrfnvhsdflkjgkarj. no way am i going up the stairs because i need to go to floor 17 and i'm in heels. just please. not going to happen. so i wait with 2 other guys. finally the elevator dings and a clown car's worth of humans exit, and the guys i'm waiting with gesture kindly for me to get on first. how nice! so i run in, reminded of my lateness, and as the door starts to close on me, hitting me in the shoulder, one of the guys looks at me and goes "that's what happens when you're in a hurry."

rude.

you know #frifotos on twitter? well...this is MY friday fotos, i.e. oddball things i've snapped over the past week or so. its probably better if you don't ask questions on these posts. just sayin'.

ya'll, this GIANT ASS butterfly was outside my window at my hotel in colorado. i like butterflies but literally this was the size of a sandwich and it scared the crap out of me.

i had 3 hours of downtime during the conference where i sat in my fluffy hotel robe and watched the kardashians and tried not to drink any wine in anticipation of an entire NIGHT of doing just that.

#swag

this is what happens when you're late to a continental breakfast. i hate jelly donuts. where are the regular ones???

my pals S&S at dinner last week - aren't they cute?

this mofo was IN MY YARD one day when i stopped at home before running to el cholo with my parents. all i wanted was to change my shoes and go stuff my face with tortilla chips and i almost stepped on this damn thing. what's with the humongous creatures lately!? enough.

fluff & fold

so here's a secret - i've never been what you'd call "proficient" at the laundry thing. i've kind of been winging it since left to my own devices in college, faaaaar away from my mom, who did my laundry for 18 years (sooo spoiled). however in all that time i've never turned a load of whites pink or shrank something to toddler-size proportions...basically i've avoided all washing machine mishaps for 10 years.  i'm so cool.

until now.

you guys, it looks like i threw a giant poodle in with my panties and socks and towels. in the COMMUNITY washing machine. i went to take out my clothes and there's all my unmentionables, coated in a thick layer of white, wet fluff. COATED.  like i'd thrown in a box of kleenex and let it go to town.

so in my infinite genius i clean out the machine, shake out my clothes and throw everything in the dryer thinking DRY fluff will be easier to get rid of.  right?

WRONG AGAIN.  now it looks like the poodle exploded. pulling out the lint trap only made a cake-like layer of the stuff fly everywhere into the air and back into the dryer.  i had to shake out my clothes while shamefully looking around hoping no one would see that i was the poodle-killer. and of course why would i look anything but hideous doing my laundry on a tuesday night? i made a sandwich in the george foreman, ate half a bag of muddy buddy chex mix and exited my house with sopping wet hair and rolled up college shorts that say "CANES" on the ass in giant green letters.  i was so afraid there'd be a fire from the extra lint buried inside the dryer that i sheepishly called my landlord to admit guilt and ask if he'd mind digging it out with some mysterious tool i don't have or know about. (i tried the kitchen tongs...too big).

so now that i've drank half a bottle of wine, neti-potted the fluff out of my sinuses and beaten whatever was left of it off my bras and t-shirts, i guess i can call it a night.
laundry fail.

on the upside - wine on clearance at target!